Family stories really tend to expand like the “size of the fish” stories. In one of my most powerful coaching practices, my question is who is the issue/problem? “Is it you or is it them?”

Whether you like the answer or not, most of the time the issue is you. Especially if the story has some trauma or negativity in it. We expand the story as we think about it. It is like a game of telephone…an older childhood game of sharing a whispered phrase and seeing if it remains constant with the retelling to each person in the game. Rarely is the phrase even remotely like the beginning phrase.

And so it is. So is it you or is it them? Revisit the issue and see the pain it is causing, the inaccuracy of the present retelling and decide whether you want this story to ruin your holidays…again this year.